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The Past Is Never Past |
Wedding of Bryan & Betsy |
Father Terrance Klein |
27.IV.2024 St Joseph Church |
Proverbs 31: 10-13, 19-20, 30-31 Colossians 3: 12-17 John 15: 9-12
The great Southern novelist William Faulkner famously wrote, “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.
We picture the past as something we constantly leave behind us, but because it changes us, it travels with us, becomes a part of who we are.
This is why premarital counseling pays attention to one’s family of origin. Whether we adore or deplore our past, it makes us who we are. Bryan and Betsy, today the Church makes you into spouses, but it’s God who, in all your yesterdays, has fashioned the spouses you are to become.
“The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” Consider, for example, this clash of expectations when Betsy invited Bryan to her apartment for a homecooked meal.
Bryan writes,
She invited me to the house she was living at. What she didn’t know at the time was that my family is very much into food. My mom and dad cook almost every night of the week. We would also eat dinner as a family at least five nights a week.
So, when she said she was cooking dinner, I was excited because, living on my own, I didn’t eat nearly as many homecooked meals.
Betsy can take it from here:
He worked in tax accounting at the time, and it was right in the middle of tax season. So, he was very busy and looking forward to the meal.
A few minutes after his arrival he looked at the oven and then looked at the pizza box beside the oven and said, “What’s that?” completely serious and very confused at the same time. And he said, “Well, that’s not how you cook pizza. That’s buying a frozen pizza at the store and putting it in the oven.”
That reminds me. Betsy, they delivered the food for this evening’s reception to the church. What do you want me to do with all these frozen pizzas?
Tomato, tomato, but it does show that we carry our past with us. That need not be a bad thing. The Good Lord has been preparing both of you for this day for a long time. Bryan describes Betsy, writing:
She is incredibly motivated and driven. To that end, she has always had a very clear direction in life. Ever since I met her, she knew exactly what she wanted and how she was going to get it.
I’m just saying that the sort of direction and motivation Betsy shows took time to bake, so to speak. Here’s her parents on the young Miss Snell.
At parent teacher conferences it was always, “Betsy is a social butterfly and talks way too much in class. One teacher had to turn Betsy’s desk around, facing the opposite direction from the rest of her classmates to curb the chatter. It’s no wonder that she is a speech pathologist today.
And here's Karla on her boy.
Bryan always wanted to sit on your lap or next to you. It didn’t matter if it was his parents, grandparents, or relatives. He once told me I didn’t need any more babies, that he was my baby… Bryan almost always has a smile on his face. He once had a coach tell him he needed a better game face than a smile. He is very devoted to family and is a very loving guy.
So, you do a little baking, as our Good Lord does with all our days, and this is what you get, quoting Betsy:
Bryan is dependable, hardworking, and very intentional. Every time he has ever told me that he would do something, he stands by what he said. He is the most dependable, reliable, and loyal person to those whom he loves most. He is very kind, understanding and generous. Sometimes I can be quick to judge situations, however he is always helping me to see the good in everyone around him. Everyone who knows Bryan knows he appreciates tradition, his Church, and the importance of family.
What’s past is never dead. It’s not even past. But of course, a wedding is a time to look to the future. Specifically, this command from the Lord:
“As the Father loves me,
so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
This is my commandment:
love one another as I love you I (Jn 15: 9).
That’s a tall order. I often say that if we could see everything our vocation will demand of us, we’d never be able to walk down the aisle.
But Betsy and Bryan, you don’t travel this road alone. You aren’t the first to set out upon it. When asked what God has taught her about marriage, Karla wrote:
God has taught me that marriage may be between two people, but it takes faith in God and good friends, family, and a good faith community to succeed in marriage.
Jolene and Tom were quite similar in their advice:
God wants us to have a strong belief and bond in him. Also, in our Church a strong commitment to our Christian faith, much like our deep love for our spouse and deep commitment to that one special person. We all have our faults, but God still loves us. As a spouse, we can’t be perfect, but our spouse still loves us unequivocally.
The past is never dead. It’s not even past. That’s good news Bryan and Betsy. The Lord who has begun this good work in you will bring it to perfection. What more needs to be said? Besides, these pizzas aren’t going to cook themselves.
♥
