APRIL 29TH, 2023

 

Adam and Ana Bellendir, who live on a farm south of Ellinwood, near Hudson, were married by their pastor, Father Terrance Klein at Sacred Heart Cathedral in Dodge City.  Ana grew up in Dodge, while Adam is originally from Great Bend.  

 

Do Opposite Attract?	Adam & Ana
Father Terrance Klein	29.IV.2023

Genesis 2: 18-24   Romans 8: 31-34, 37-39   John 15: 12-16

Do opposites attract?  The great psychologist Karl Jung thought so.  Indeed, he suggested that, whether we’re seeking a friend or a spouse, we’re attracted to the other because he or she is different than we are, has qualities we lack, moves and acts in a way we wish we could. 

Obviously, there must be some common ground.  None of us date Martians.  But the gist of Jung’s argument is that we seek completion in the other.  Who they are becomes a part of who we are.  To quote Genesis:

That is why a man leaves his father and mother

and clings to his wife,

and the two of them become one body.

With that being said, let’s meet today’s contestants.  I’ve known Adam since he was a pipsqueak.  Met him earlier this week.  But here’s one who’s known him much longer, his father Brian:

Adam should have been named Francis, in honor of St Francis of Assisi. Although I don’t know if he would like being called Frank.  I have been struck by his love for animals, great and small.  He takes care of his livestock and pets with the utmost respect and diligence.  He works hard to take care of his family.  I am very proud of that.  He has developed into a fine young man.

So, with Karl Jung in mind, who might be attracted to a Saint Francis?  The answer turns out to be Zena, the Warrior Princess.  Here’s Sofia on her daughter Ana.  “Nena is strong and sassy.”  Indeed, when asked to summon a scene from Ana’s childhood, Sofia proffered:

 In the sixth grade, a boy called Ana the B word.  She stood up for herself by punching him in the glasses, breaking them, and giving him a black eye.  Dad picked her up because she was suspended for a day.  He asked, “Was it worth it?”  She said, “Yup,” and they went home.

 Of course, if this is going to work, Saint Francis must want, at least a little, to be a warrior, and Zena must, to some extent, admire the ways of peace. 

But listen to the bride and groom describe their first date.  You can see whole worlds melting into each other.  First, Ana.

 Our first date was in the Big City of Albert, Kansas, and in hindsight, it set us up for the future as far as how simple things were going to be.  We walked to the park down the street and took his dog Spook with us.  We sat on the swing and just talked.  Neither of us had to try too hard at conversation, and that’s how it is to this day.

In Adam’s version of the same date, you see Jung’s theory fully in play.  Similarity gives way to challenge and growth.

 I took her to the park in Albert with Spook, swinging and just talking. I remember, she didn’t much care for my shoes.  They were skater shoes.  Ana has brought a sense of fashion to my life.

If I may, I would carry Jung’s insight into a theological perspective.  Ultimately, what we seek in the other in our own completion in Christ.  In baptism, each of us was called to be another Christ, but there is a long journey between commission and completion.  We need others, especially our spouses, to become who we were meant to be in Christ, to become the Father’s dream of us.  

 Today we come with Adam and Ana before the altar of God because we all seek completion in Christ.  We know that we are meant to go out from ourselves and into others so that we can become who we were meant to be.  The very nature of love is to bring forth life.  To bring forth what wasn’t there before the love of Christ entered. 

Consider Roz, who’s still just a pipsqueak.  Does she love animals?  Does she already pack a punch?  Are Roz and Adam starting to possess what he admires in Ana:  compassion, a caring heart, dedication, and drive?  Are Ana and Roz already something of Adam: the hardest working man in the room, someone who is patient, who is hilarious, who loves big.

Where do we go from here?  Where will marriage in Christ take us?  In all honesty, Adam and Ana, it will take you to Calvary.  There’s no life in Christ, no resurrection into unending love, without the shadow of the cross.  Brian advises:

 Perseverance!  Life is hard.  Many challenges and tests will come your way. Be strong and try to understand the people you love. Never give up.

 Kris and Sofia have some advice. 

 Always love like Jesus. When the getting gets hard, pray through it, and watch your blessing unfold.  Keep God at the center of all occasions big and small.

 And Saint Paul says,

 What will separate us from the love of Christ?

Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine,

or nakedness, or peril, or the sword?

No, in all these things, we conquer overwhelmingly

through him who loved us.

 

But Frank and Zena, we’re not just here as witnesses.  We’re here because we are journeying with you and Roz, and Baby Terry, who is still to come.  To quote that sayable sheriff one last time:

Wir wünschen euch

ein langes leben

gesundheit,

friede und einigkeit,

und nach dem tod,

die ewige glückseligkeit.

 

Or, as the sheriff would say that in Spanish:

 Le deseamos una vida larga,

buena salud,

paz y buena voluntad,

y después de la muerte

felicidad eterna.

♥ ♥ ♥